Real life friends are tough for me right now. I’ve entered a phase in my life that can only be described as “nesting” (I’m not pregnant – in any shape way or form. not even with joy or any of that malarkey); all I want to do with my free time is stay home and be cozy in our home which is becoming more likable every day. I literally don’t want to go anywhere. I just want to be in our warm, safe home with my puppy and my husband. So the whole not wanting to leave the house is making my social scene bleak.
There’s another problem. I’ve fallen in a crack in friend land. I have a lovely, lovely neighbor that wants to make friends but I am scared that we won’t get on and then it’ll be so very awkward living across the street from each other. This neighbor is married. Like WAY married – she has a beautiful family that includes children. (Kids still freak me out a significant amount).
The people I have accumulated in my life and label as friends are not married. I love my friends very much, but as a newlywed I don’t feel like staying out until 2 a.m., being wasted and watching my friends flirt with men would be constructive for my new marriage. Let me be clear that this is in no way a judgment on anyone’s lifestyle. I get partying and I get being a stay at home mommy. The crack is between the 2 a.m. bar time and putting your kids to bed; I’m in between those phases.
Where do I fit? Where are my people? The people who like to have fun in a relaxed, non-beer-pong kind of way but that can stay out until midnight without a mad panic about a baby sitter. I feel a bit trapped and isolated. However, in my experience isolation usually comes from within not the outside people. I’m thinking the problem is in my head, not my actual friend set. I should be bolder and gutsier about making friends. Making new friends freaks me right out. I think I might have a mild social anxiety disorder or something. I dread talking to people. Okay wait, that sounds like a pretty serious social anxiety disorder. Rest assured that if we ever met in real life I would be awkward and have sweaty palms. Maybe that’s why I LOVE you bloggy people so much. You can’t shake my sweaty, social anxiety palms – kidding. You interact with me when you want to and I read about your life while self-indulgently writing about my own life. Interaction based on free will and not guilt!
Are you good at making friends? Some people are bubbly and enthusiastic about it and then some of us get sweaty at the thought of having to talk.