I’m seriously stuggling. I think I might just be a b-word. There is someone in my life that drives me crazy. I deal with this person on a daily basis. And some days I find myself grinding my teeth – a new and disturbing habit. I’m making lists of all the benefits my current situation provides so I can see that this one person is not ruining what I have. I
How do you change your natural teeth-nashing response to someone? I’m not sure how much of my annoyance is real and how much has just snowballed into being a crazy person. Like are the things I’m annoyed with reasonable things to be annoyed at? We will obvisoulsy never be friendsSometimes when I talk to this person it goes well and I think, “gee maybe I’m just a cranky-mean a-hole”. Then sometimes I talk to this person and I am literally left speechless because of some of the stuff that is said. Stunned. Here is an example of an exchange I would like to forget.The person: “I’m so excited my Dad is coming visit”. Me: ”Oh yeah. That’ll be nice”. The person: “He is really hot. I can’t wait for you to see him”. Me: blank stare The person: “He could be married to a super-model and give her everything she wants” Me: …..
I’m an adult. I know I can’t change anything about this person, so I need to change myself. How would you do this? How do you reconstruct your brain? I came up with a plan to go home and tell Collin one nice thing about this person and thereby change my thinking and put a positive spin on things. It worked, for a while – until one bad day and then I came off the tracks and ranted and raved about things that were not nice. Also my brain kept wanting to use back-handed compliment*. So I’m thinking not only should I make myself say one nice thing to Collin about this person. I should say one nice, encouraging thing to this person every day.
I really do want to change and fix this situation because it is a situation I am stuck in for the forseeable future; and frankly I am only making myself miserable. Oh and I don’t want to be known as a b-word. Thoughts? Suggestions? Medication recommendations?
*In 8th grade our sunday school teacher gave us and example of a back-handed comment: “you don’t sweat much for a fat girl”. Real cool. I fully grasped the meaning of a back-handed compliment.